The way we think develops through our life experiences and affects the way that we perceive events. Our emotions and feelings are not so much a result of events, but rather what we tell ourselves about these events; that is, our interpretations of what happens to us.
Events » Thoughts » Reactions
Events are situations that occur in our everyday lives.
Thoughts are the result of our attempts to understand and make sense of everyday events. They occur quickly and often we are not even aware of them. The kinds of thoughts we have are based on belief systems we each build up over time as a result of life experiences. The same style of thinking tends to occur automatically each time we face certain events, so we develop fixed patterns of thinking. These are like habits – easy to form and harder to break.
Reactions are the emotions (feelings) and behaviours that result from our thoughts. People have different thoughts about an event and therefore will feel and act differently as a result. This is why people may react very differently to a similar event or situation.
This model states that it is not the event that causes a reaction, but the thoughts we have about the event which lead to an emotional reaction. For people with depression and anxiety, these thinking patterns tend to be negative. These types of thoughts also have some common characteristics. They are:
AUTOMATIC: We don’t choose to have these thoughts. They pop into our heads without any effort or intention on our part.
DISTORTED: The thoughts don’t fit all the facts, but are unrealistically negative.
UNHELPFUL: The thoughts don’t us feel better, or help us to gain understanding about a situation. Actually, they tend to just make us feel worse.
UNQUESTIONED: We often accept these thoughts as facts, without stopping to question whether they are realistic.
INVOLUNTARY: We don’t choose to have these thoughts, and they can be hard to “switch off” even when we notice we are having them.
Thoughts like these can trap you in a vicious cycle. The more depressed or anxious you become, the more negative thoughts you have and the more you believe them. The more negative thoughts you have, the more you believe them, and the more depressed or anxious you become.
The main goal of Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT), an evidence-based psychological treatment, is to help you break out of this cycle. CBT will teach you some important skills that help you to understand the links between your thoughts, your feelings, and your behaviour. The first step in this process is learning to recognise and identify common types of unhelpful negative thinking.
Here are some examples of typical thinking errors:
1. Overgeneralising: Coming to a general conclusion based on a single event or one piece of evidence, while ignoring others. These thoughts often include broad terms such as the words “always”, “never”, “no one” or “everyone”.
For example, “Nobody likes me. I always stuff things up. Every time I try, I always fail.”
2. Black and White (All or Nothing) thinking: Creating a false dichotomy where everything is either good or bad, without any middle ground.
For example, “I won’t be able to stick to this diet every day, so I may as well not start it at all.”
3. Personalising: Feeling responsible for things that are not our fault, or incorrectly assuming that other people’s behaviour is directed at us, or a result of what we have done.
For example, “She didn’t say hello to me, it’s obvious she doesn’t like me.”
4. Catastrophising: Overestimating the chances of disaster, and expecting terrible, unbearable things to happen.
For example, “What if I didn’t turn off the oven, and the house burns down?”
5. Mental Filter: Concentrating only on the negatives, while ignoring positives. This might include minimising all the good aspects of a situation while magnifying all the negatives. This way of thinking tends to confirm our insecurities and fears while filtering out information that is not compatible with our existing beliefs.
For example, “I know my boss said that most of my submission was good, but he also pointed out some errors I had made. He must think I’m really stupid.”
6. Jumping to negative conclusions: Assuming the worst about every situation, or interpreting situations in the worst possible light.
For example, “It’s been over a week since I heard from John. He must hate me.”
7. Labelling: Placing unhelpful or hurtful labels on ourself or others, that cause us to overgeneralise about people’s characteristics and behaviours. Failing to distinguish between behaviours and people as whole.
For example, “I’m such a loser.”
8. “Should” statements: While it is good to have personal goals, it can be unhelpful to hold ourselves to strict, unrealistic standards. Using “should” or “must” statements can set up inflexible standards, and “set us up to fail”.
For example, “I should always be in control.”
9. Emotional reasoning: Mistaking feelings for facts. Assuming that because we feel a certain way, it must be the truth of how things are.
For example, “I feel like a failure, so I must be a failure.”
10. Mind reading and Fortune telling: Assuming that we know what other people are thinking about us, or assuming that we can predict what will happen in the future.
For example, “I could tell that he thought I was stupid during the interview.”
Identify your own thinking errors
Do any of the above thinking errors sound familiar to you? Next time you notice a sudden shift in your emotions, try identifying the thoughts that are making you feel this way. What is going through your mind to make you feel sad, anxious, angry, hurt or lonely (or any other emotion?) What thinking error might you be making? What do you do when you have this thought (i.e. what are your behaviours?)
If you notice that particular thinking error patterns keep coming up, and you are suffering from depression, anxiety, or stress, it is likely that you would benefit from a CBT technique called Cognitive Restructuring (or Thought Challenging). This technique helps you re-evaluate your thoughts in an objective, balanced way and is proven to be effective in a range of psychological disorders.
Seeing a Psychologist is an important first step in helping you use CBT techniques. To find out how CBT might be of benefit to you, please get in touch.